Strong Girls United with Lani Silversides

Every person has a body, a heart, and a mind. It’s where these three components come together that the magic happens, says this week’s guest, teacher and coach Lani Silversides.

Practicing mindfulness about how we speak with and act around kids can help us set a positive example for them. It can also help them build a strong skill set and work ethic that will serve them well as they grow and progress.

For example, we’ve built a lot of judgment into our everyday language, Silversides says. Even questions that may seem benign, like “How was the game?” or “How was your test?” sets kids up to have to answer positively or negatively. Either the test was good, or the test was bad. The game was great, or the game was awful.

Instead, think about rephrasing questions to focus on reflection and growth. Ask kids, “What did you think went well?” or “What was something you enjoyed doing?” By moving to a mindful approach, we can help kids build mental resilience and healthy mindset habits they can use in every aspect of their lives.

Things You’ll Learn:

  • Be mindful of the language you use
  • Pay attention to family routines
  • Move away from quick judgment about performance
  • Build mental muscles
  • Keep the fun factor in youth sports


“I really wanted to start with these young girls and get them confident in being able to try new things and to put themselves out there and know that they can.” -Lani Silversides

“Really trying to be mindful of the word choices that I am using on a day to day basis … has really come to the forefront of my mind and it really boils down to the importance of coaches and parents doing this work for themselves first.” -Lani Silversides

“My motto in the consulting stuff that I do is learn, live, lead. You’ve got to learn about it and live it yourself before leading others because that awareness for me to catch myself is because I’m doing the work as well.” -Lani Silversides

“We think of all of these things as muscles. How do you grow your gratitude muscle? How do you grow your mindfulness muscle? How do you grow your confidence muscle? And so every time you exercise it, like muscles, every time you’re acting on it some way, any way, it’s like doing a repetition where you’re growing the muscle.” -Lani Silversides

“It’s my strong belief that the intersection of those three spaces (body, heart, mind) is a sweet spot where the magic happens.” -Lani Silversides


You can find out more about Lani Silversides’ work online at She’s also on Instagram @LaniSilversides.

There’s more information about Strong Girls United Foundation online at and on Instagram @StrongGirlsUnited.

Click HERE for the SGU middle/high school girls leadership academy!

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Episode 25